How to Be Less Affected by the Emotions of Others

What if you were less affected by the emotions of others?

Perhaps it is a spouse, a business partner or a child that gets you down.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt

I hear you. It's an extremely common problem because, as mammals, we form attachments. It's these attachments that have kept us alive.

The problem is…

“What got you here, won’t get you there.”

Any negative emotion is followed by a stream of negative thoughts and, if we cling onto the mind, it becomes a story and then a belief.

Here is a common example I hear - your partner comes home and starts complaining about their day.

You feel frustrated they are complaining again and as an 'evolved' person you know that complaining is BAD… in your reality.

So you think things like:

"I wish they would stop complaining."

"Why don’t they go and meditate?"

"What is wrong with them ruining my vibe?"

All of these thoughts are often so fast that you are not conscious of them. So they build up until you become so disconnected from your true essence and you need an emotional release.

You seek this through food, social media, sex or alcohol. You do this because you are a sensitive empathic person and you secretly have a belief that...

I can’t be happy unless my loved ones are happy.”

Research shows us that, regardless of the subject of our thoughts, we will have the same biochemical response. For example, the thoughts above will trigger the threat system and hence cause bursts of chemicals like cortisol and noradrenaline.

It’s the build up of these chemicals that causes you to need the emotional release.

If this resonates with you, I got you.

It's a challenge to be caring but to not be affected. Compassion helps you do that because it activates your soothing system in your brain causing the release of serotonin, oxytocin and endorphins. It activates your mammalian caregiving system.

Remember that the key to being less affected by others is to see yourself in them, your true self.

The parts of you that are eternal, infinite and limitless.

“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.” Rumi

 ***

Here are 16 truths to help you be less affected by the emotions of others.

1. Other people do not affect you, it’s what you think about them that does

2. Everyone has their own UPR - unique perception of reality

3. Other people’s actions reflect their reality NOT yours

4. You can choose to buy what others say by becoming conscious

5. Nothing can impress upon your mind without your permission

6. You can love someone and kindly NOT buy their emotions or thoughts

7. You are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness

8. Being responsible for them will drain you

9. Absorbing their emotions hurts you

10. Negative inner dialogue about others hurts you

11. When you are hurt you cannot help

12. Your true self knows it is unconditionally loved

13. This means you do not wait for the conditions to be right to feel good

14. Detach to empower - you have no control over them

15. The release of control is where peace exists

16. If you must respond, do so from a place of love

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If this resonates, forward it on to a friend who you think would benefit.

Love, 

Dr Nilesh