Criticism Antibodies: Become Immune to Rejection and Criticism

If you have ever been rejected you know it hurts…

We are social animals who crave connection. 

“Connection is the key to fulfilment.”

Often the criticism or rejection in others stimulates a cascade within ourselves. Our relationships are windows into our shadow, soul and unhealed parts of ourselves. 

Click here to receive a powerful journaling tool and 5 prompts for what to say when you are criticised. 

Deep authentic connections are essential for longevity, prosperity and peace. This was proven by Robert Waldinger’s 80-year Harvard graduates study and by Ed Diener’s famous ‘Very Happy People’ study. 

The research is clear. And business connections provide a web through which you can access your growth. 

However, many of us never make the first move or connect with people who inspire us. Why? 

Because we fear criticism and rejection.

"To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing."

Elbert Hubbard

When I am working with entrepreneurs, experts and leaders, fearing criticism from others is a frequent subconscious block they have - they ask the question of themselves…

“Do I belong?”

Self-compassion changes everything because it works on the root cause - your relationship with yourself. 

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Read on to learn about the 'Criticism Cascade' so you can become immune to rejection and create the deep connections that matter. 

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Criticism Cascade

Compassion researcher Paul Gilbert showed us that our self-talk creates biochemical changes within the brain. Self-critical statements are not just about you. Any statement you make about yourself, others or the world in your head can trigger the cascade shown below and a neurochemical storm. 

Step 1 - You Get Criticised

At this stage you have two options - to accept the criticism or to reject it. You wouldn't feel offended if someone criticised something about you that was completely irrelevant. 

“What people say about you says more about them than you.

How you respond says more about you.”

Step 2 - Your Self-Talk Becomes Negative 

At this stage, the chemical cascade begins - cortisol, noradrenaline and adrenaline are released causing increases in heart rate, blood pressure and breathing rate. Your sympathetic nervous system (SNS) is activated. 

Step 3 - You Feel Better but Act From Fear and Not Love

The SNS will activate fear in you so you will be focused on survival, avoiding loss and playing small. At this stage you are acting from your ego - this is where mistakes occur. 

Self-compassion will stop this step because you will start to treat yourself with love and not fear. 

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Make sure you click here for the download to receive 5 prompts for responding to criticism. Get in touch to let me know what resonated.

With love,

Nilesh