3 Reasons Why You'll Aways be Ok: Self-Compassion vs. Self-Esteem

Don’t rely on self-esteem, choose self-compassion instead. 

If you lose your job, lover or health, how do you talk to yourself? 

Read on for 3 powerful reasons why choosing self-compassion elevates your impact, freedom and peace more than self-esteem. 

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Most people think self esteem is helpful and it can be, up to a point…

Until the unexpected occurs… 

I’ve had clients who have witnessed deaths, experienced family illness and lost hundreds of thousands in deals yet….

They were always Ok. 

Not only that, they went on to have their best year ever after developing the resilience, grit and optimism that comes with self-compassion over self-esteem. 

“Self-esteem is a positive evaluation of ourselves based on our circumstances.”

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Here are 3 reasons why that can limit you:

1. You avoid awareness instead of enjoying it

If you rely on self-esteem you will avoid looking at the facts. 

It's a 'fair-weather friend' and doesn't help you weather the storms. 

I was recently speaking with an entrepreneur who wanted to grow their business, but the truth is they were not committing the time, energy and money to their desires. 

When challenged, they didn't know the numbers in their business - the facts. Why? Because they were basing their self-worth on their business numbers and, as result, becoming aware was too painful. 

It led to too much judgement and self-blame. 

With self-compassion you can appreciate the journey no matter where you are. Embrace challenges, setbacks and find inspiration in others to ensure you grow unconditionally. 

These are core concepts of a growth mindset and are scientifically proven to bring long-lasting happiness, success and fulfilment. 

2.  You believe your past conditioning, not your true essence

Self-esteem will convince you of a terrible bullshit lie…

"You need to be a good girl or boy in order to be loved.”

This will lead to you to seek acceptance from others, not set boundaries and cause you to not follow your dreams from fear of rejection. 

There is a love that exists that is not based on what you do or what you have. It is based on WHO you are - your true essence. 

In psychological research, self-esteem is based upon you being better than others whereas self-compassion is based on you being the same. 

“We are all the same.” Dalai Lama

Self-compassion’s differentiator says we can’t all be the best and we can be imperfect. 

As Pema Chodron puts it, it allows you to be "a compassionate mess".

3. You take fear-based actions, not love-based ones

Most entrepreneurs are taking fear-based actions, not love-based ones.

I was working with an entrepreneur recently who was hustling working 60 hour weeks even though they had built a 7-figure business. 

Why? 

They were afraid. Afraid of not providing, of losing it all and of being worse than their peers.

In self-esteem, you will always have an energy of competition over collaboration. In the long run, this makes you miserable. 

It disturbs your peace. 

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If you are a mission-focused entrepreneur who would like to create inner peace regardless of your circumstances, so you can elevate your impact, speak to us here. 

Love,

Nilesh