3 Questions to Compassionately Stop Doubting Yourself and Uncover Your Confidence

Do you ever find yourself paralysed by self-doubt, constantly second-guessing your abilities and decisions?

Should you let go of that staff member, have that difficult conversation or book that restful holiday you deserve?

If you doubt yourself, you're not alone.

Many of us struggle with feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, even when we have a track record of success.

Here is what Maya Angelou said about self-doubt - 

"I have written eleven books, but each time I think, 'uh oh, they're going to find out now. I've run a game on everybody, and they're going to find me out.' "

And Ryan Reynolds - 

"Self-doubt can be an ally. This is because it serves as a reminder to always question yourself and your abilities."

Questions, coupled with inspired actions, are the antidotes to self-doubt.

When your default mode network and amygdala are overactive, it can trigger self-doubt in you. 

Your inhibitory prefrontal cortex and higher executive function areas can calm these areas through the power of asking open-ended questions.

This is my intention for you - to give you powerful questions to calm your mind and access a part of you that is free, fearless and full of potential.

Then you can start to live a more confident, successful and fulfilling life - a life of self-mastery.

1. Is This Doubt True? 

Recently I received an application form from an entrepreneur and investor. 

He ticked the box that indicated he had no history of accomplishments. 

I was suspicious because I had seen his profile. I was impressed with him. 

3 things were potentially going on here - 

Either he was lying, unaware of his accomplishments or he genuinely had no history of accomplishments.

In a coaching session, we went deep into his story. 

I listened deeply and reflected back. 

He looked emotional because he hadn't seen his own value. This was holding him back by causing him to doubt himself, his confidence and his worth. 

Sometimes all you need to do to quell that overactive limbic system is objectively look at the data. 

Ask yourself - is this doubt true? Look at the data logically and dispel any myths that are holding you back. 

As my coach says -

"You are more powerful than you know."

2. Is This Doubt Nurturing? 

Sometimes doubts can be helpful. 

They can alert us to potential avoidable dangers, mistakes and bumps in the road. 

Recently I was working with a client whose doubts were rooted in a fear of success. 

They were focused on what they were going to lose over what they could give. 

This doubt wasn't nurturing. 

It wasn't helping them grow. Self-compassion was required to manage this emotional discomfort. 

So they could move forward despite fears. 

So they could act from a place of inspiration, love and service. 

They decided to follow their dreams and, in the process, they've inspired those who they thought they might lose. 

3. Does This Doubt Create a Sense of Belonging? 

You are a social being. You need connection and a tribe. 

If your doubts are helping you belong, then this may be blocking your fulfilment and success. 

Never underestimate the power of a group. 

Imagine you were on a desert island and everybody was meditating every day. 

How much doubt might you have about meditation? 

Social contagion is the most powerful factor in behavioural change. 

If you are doubting yourself and you want to feel more confident, surround yourself with people who inspire confidence in you. 

This is why I created a powerful group of mission-focused entrepreneurs and creatives. 

We'll be starting this community on Tuesday and I can already see the domino effect of the coming together of minds. 

What could be possible for you if you joined a group that inspired confidence in you?

How would the way you serve change?

I am curious to know. 

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Enjoy these questions, and let me know how you get on with them. 

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1 Quote 

"Self-doubt can be an ally. This is because it serves as a reminder to always question yourself and your abilities." Ryan Reynolds

1 Question 

"Is it true?"

1 Quality 

Curiosity

"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's mind there are few."